One of the brothers from the NS ministry said this, I quote:”The 2 years or 1 year 10 months will come, but when you hold your pink IC and look back. Will you say that NS made you a better person, or will you say that you wasted 2years of your time?”. What an enlightening statement! The fact is; what ever you say will probably be true. When you hold such a bitter grudge towards your NS stint, you’ll probably be unwilling to grow and adapt to situations.

Personally, I used to hate NS, in my mind I kept thinking:”If I didn’t have to serve, I’ll probably be able to study and do the things I like.”, but during the time I was in it, I got to learn extensively! I see things from a bigger picture now! I grew to see how important hard-work and perseverance was. How working as a team and leading well can make things done faster.Also, in the past when I watched movies like Rambo, Navy Seals…etc I thought those in the front-line of battle were so COOL! But now, I realized that without the Store man and Driver the commandos/special forces personnel will most definitely lose the war!

Not everyone on the stage is the hero, sometimes it’s better to keep a low profile! Fame can ruin a person! Hollywood showed us many examples. It is easy for a man to make a decision, but what comes after it, whether consequences or blessings may not be within his control!

Oh ya! With regards to the recent Hike in Taxi Fares, contrary to what the majority of Singaporeans feel, I thought it was rather reasonable. I know that as a nation, we like to rant and complain, but that will certainly not help. We must learn to look at things from a bigger perspective. Fossil fuel is running out, with floods and natural disaster everywhere; food prices are going up.  Logically and naturally, with everything going up, the prices of transport will go up. For more than 10 years Cab fares remained the same till circumstances caused it to hike. It is not right to blame the government and cry father /mother.

Monetary Policies were kept in place to keep Singapore growing at a sustainable rate. Take a look at Japan, Switzerland or even our closest neighbor; Hongkong! I believe that if you really put in the effort, you can survive and even thrive in Singapore!

This brings about another subject, I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate it when people complain, but after their spectacular rants, they are not willing to bring about change or know what kind of measures to take. I also don’t like it when people become lazy without a good reason. It’s practically life sucking!

I think sometimes it’s better to keep certain comments to ourselves unless there is a need or way to make things better.

Signing off,

Elvis Elijah Wan

Every year I’ll ask myself this question:”I’m suppose to be this age biologically, but am I living the way I should in this particular age?”. Sometimes, the answer is positive, sometimes it’s negative but I know that God will shape me according to His heart desire. A fish is made to swim and a bird to fly, so what’s my purpose? I’ll find out soon!

NATIONAL SERVICE

Time, Time is such an abstract subject. Initially, I have to admit that the experience was not as good as I had imagined. Every moment I was galvanized into action! “Fall in, knock it down! Move, Faster!”. I experienced something which most NS serving males have felt before.  It seemed to me that Time was STATIC! Chaos! For everything happened so fast before I could rationalize!

I realized that God created the seasons to be in a certain Order, so that we will not freak out. Humans are able to adapt to change, but if that change was to come too soon, it may be difficult, very difficult!

Soon, I was able to calm myself down and make sense of the perpetual discontinuity of the events.I knew I  have to let go of all my fears and worries, to kneel before Him, proclaim Him as King and allow Him to take over. Once I let go; I let God! God becomes my only CONSTANT in the running streams of irregularities. No more over-reacting to situations whatever it may be.To perceive things for what they really are.If I have so much work to do that I have to stay til 9PM, then so be it. If I have to stay in camp for training and am unable to go home, so be it.

As long as I have GOD with me, even 2 hours of Guard Duty can be enjoyable!

Our experiences will ultimately shape us

Now, it seem to me that time is flowing, no longer static and arbitrary. In fact, time is flowing away too fast. Have you been to a beach? When you grab a handful of sand with your palm, some will leak away, soon all will just leak through the gaps of your palm. Similarly, time is constantly flowing away and there is nothing to hold it back (unless, you were to design some sort of time machine). So, I propose that we should enjoy good times to the fullest, to cry at the lowest and reflect in difficulty. There is always a choice. We can just choose to let matters go or, ask the correct questions to prevent and solve them. To be daring enough to ask :”Is it really my fault? Have I done enough? Was it proper?”. I assure you that you’ll find many things you do irrational and meaningless. Don’t be discouraged!

Every Single moment that your still breathing and living; is God’s 2nd chance for you!

I thank GOD that my department in Pasir Ris camp is really filled with really good people. People who are responsible and get things done properly! Tentatively, as a Signal Store 2 IC my job is done, my NS life is basically just waiting for my service to end. Everything is done and put into place! The understudies are posting in soon and it will make things even easier. That’s why I’ve been doing a lot of heavy reading, immersing myself in various subjects. I hope to finish at least half of my library by my ORD in May!

Systems

I think the good thing about NS is the formulation and execution of systems. I’ve learned about flow charts and algorithms but NS is where i see them being applied! Everything has a system! From planting churches to a billion dollar business; there is a need for systems to be  created and run by capable people.

I was hooked on creating them in my personal life, things like tagging and arranging my clothes to brushing my teeth. Yes! I have a system to brush my teeth!

I’ve seen the fruits of implementing systems, I get to have more sleep in the morning through creating a set of algorithms which start from the moment I wake up till I get out of the home. It takes me only 15-20 mins(breakfast,brush,bath,uniform,boots,rush to a bus stop), I even changed the way I bath lol to be efficient! I get more for less!

I believe that GOD wants me to learn how to create and use systems to extend His kingdom in my unique way!

Eccentricities

I think most of my close friends and acquaintances will know that I am an eccentric fellow, even when I was in Primary school people thought that I was different. I don’t act the way normal people do, my thought processes and reaction to things are different. I actually realized long ago that the things I did or am about to do will leave an impinging effect on people, whether positive or negative, it’s subjective haha!

I think normal people do normal things but Extraordinary people do extraordinary things! People like Bill gates, Tesla, Frued, Einstein, Laplace(…etc) were considered to be eccentric but they managed to do exceptional things!

By the way if you don’t think I’m weird, or if I use a gentler word, if you don’t think I’m different; then your probably as eccentric as myself hahaha! Crazy and Crazy = Neutralization!

I know that God can use the “difference” in me to make significant differences! =)

Money

As I grow older, money automatically becomes an issue. I will want to analyze and espouse on this. So what does money mean to me?

A few years ago, I read that Money is a concept. My friends, the truth is; there is actually no real value behind that polymerized paper. In other words, it is only the person that gives it the value, the paper itself is just a tool used in an economic environment.

In ancient times, people used salt, rocks and rice as currency, it was supposed to help make life better with the high quality food and tools you can get from it. But then again, why is it that such a concept is able to bind and imprison so many people?

Someone shared with me that money is a magnifier, if your a good person, having lots of money will allow you to do more good and if your a bad person, money will allow you to pursue evil. I propose a more complete theory, money though filled with magnifying properties, it can also provide so many alternatives that one will begin to love it, 1 Timothy 6:10 states that :”For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil“,having money is not wrong but loving it will often lead to ruin.

From Christianity I learned an interesting fact, the Kernel theory

John 12:24
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

When put into proper context, it simply means if you horde money; it’s like stagnant water, it will grow dengue causing mosquitoes. But, if you spread it, it will start to grow and sprout in many places.

]]> http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/im-22/feed/ 0 elvelijahwan http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/some-thoughts-of-a-realist/ http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/some-thoughts-of-a-realist/#comments Sun, 02 Oct 2011 16:16:21 +0000 elvelijahwan http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/?p=568 ]]> I think I might have just “cursed” myself into having a fever and asthma attack! A few days ago, I was thinking to myself:”WOW! It’s nice to be so healthy; I haven’t taken any MCs for the past 4 months. I wonder how it’s like to be sick again!”. BOOM! I had a fever of 39 Degrees on Friday which subsided to 38 degrees. I thank God that, actually my rate of recovery is quite desirable as usually such symptoms will take 4-5 days to taper away.

My visit to Changi Hospital was an interesting one. As most of you know, erm I’m referring to those NSFs or people who enjoy queuing, JOKES =) ; that Poly-Clinics are closed on SAT and Sundays! So, I had to go to the Hospital.

Initially I had thought that it will most likely take 1-2 hours tops but it took me 5 hours!

When I  walked into A&E, the nurse took my temperature with a reading of 37.8 degrees, I was lead to an enclosed area, which in a sensewas rather reticent for me. When I opened the door, a very familiar sight appeared before me! It had occurred to me that 90 percent of the patients were TEKONG RECRUITS!

I went ahead with the registrations and preliminary checks. Sitting in the middle of the recruits and reading Sigmund Freud, I could not only read about how Freud’s brand of psychology revolved around SEX, I had also overheared the recruits discussing about the art of  “kenging”(malingering). But, I judge them not, I understand that such practices are common as certain events like Field camps can make normal people crazy and crazy people like me even crazier! Anyways I waited half an hour for the Doctor.

I totally didn’t expect that the events that was going to take place! LOL ! Subsequently, I was diagnosed with asthma and wheezing cough. No, it’s not the Pokemon Weezing but rather, a type of sound or symptom that is predominant in asthma patients.

I was then given nebulizer treatment for 45 mins! After the treatment. I waited for another 2 hours as the doctor wanted to see if I’m doing well. She asked me some question which I think I  over-analyzed LOL! She simply asked me if I was breathless and my answer was:”Mdm,what is ur definition of breathless?Ur question is rather empirical,I don’t trust my senses cuz of the fever”(I would rather be tested using a “concrete” method.Thermometers,Heart rate meters and weighing machines cannot lie but emotions can).Doc:”Haha, I understand emotions are subjective but your thinking too deeply”

I knew I was thinking too much……..Sigh………Mid life crisis? NAH!

1) Influx of foreigners

I had a weird idea, actually I have many weird ideas! I was thinking that if I’m put in charge of immigration and handling immigrants. I willactually ALLOW more FEMALES to be citizens as compared to males and the homo-sexual counterparts. In ancient times of war, many which you can read in history books, when a country wins a war and besieges another country, they will kill and imprision the males but leave the females alone. Of course, I’m not talking about genocide and killing foreigners but rather asking the question WHY did the ancients do that?

The question is simple! Biologically, that will make much sense! When the females are left alone and treated well they will be integrated into the new Establishment. Personally I believe that women should be treated with respect. The stories that I’ve read are cruel and disgusting! But anyways, the principle is that, the women will marry the males of the new power and they will in turn boast the population rate.

I think, if more foreign women are integrated into Singapore, although that itself may not necessary boast the rate of marriage or population but that can be a variable. My sister asked me :” What if these foreign women are marrying our SG men for the wrong reasons? I.E getting a citizenship”. Being a realist my answer is :”It does not matter, because at the end of the day your example answers itself, the women will still stay in SG!”

Let me set the line straight, I do not condone to Poly-gamy, treating women as objects of inducing babies nor genocide. What I am trying to show, is that, for every 10 foreigner that migrate to SG, letting 6.5 be women will be more productive.

I think what PM Lee said was quite intelligent:”If they stay SG will have more foreign talent, and if they go, we will have global contacts around every corner of the world!”

Am I Pro Pap? I believe that there’s no perfect Establishment except Theocracy but for now, I will go with Pap……..LOL

2) Homosexuality

Well, recently I’m more exposed to the realms of the “curved” way. Don’t worry brothers, I’m not one of them even though I walk among them. There was this movement, “The Pink Dot”. It’s basically a movement that condone to being Gay or Lesbian. The freedom and liberation of admitting to being a gay/lesbian without the prejudice and objections.

To me, whether Evolutionarily,Christianity-wise it’s wrong. I DO not hate the person but I do not agree to the practices and actions. Note: I did not write that religiously it’s wrong because certain religions don’t abhor or withhold sexuality, Thailand has the largest database of Buddhists but prostitution thrives in the same place. Oh the idiosyncrasy!

Ok let me substantiate. I didn’t use the moral argument because I understand that people can twist and turn to make it sound “alright” morally. Just like Logic can be twisted if the premise is wrong. Example : Men are reptiles, reptiles have 4 legs, therefore men have 4 legs!”, logically this statement is valid but is it true? Tell me if you have 4 legs and need to regulate your core temperature =)

Evolutionarily it’s wrong because homosexuals cannot produce children therefore the population is doomed. That is an argument evolutionists and atheists used to debate against Theists.

Christianity wise…..God made us men and women. Some gay christians debated and used David and Jonathan’s(not the same David and Jonathan from Hope Church, one of them is attached, and to a beautiful godly woman) example to plead their cause. I think that argument has a lot of loopholes. No where in the bible did it state that they were gay.

My main contention, once again is that I don’t hate the man or woman but the practices.

3) Building people

 People who can think 5 heard ahead of time build Condos and Sky Scrapers. People who can think 10 years ahead of time build Iphones, Computers and Ipads. But people who can think 100 years into the future build other people!

Jesus Christ is one such man! You can deny Jesus is God, you can deny His teachings but you CANNOT deny His impact on the world, and the thing is; man oh man, I don’t have the faith to be an atheist! I’m extremely impressed by teachers and care leaders! They are the ones that impact the future. If my bible knowledge is correct, Jesus said that we are going to do even BIGGER things! Amen!

Rob Yeung went on to explain the different qualities which made the “winners” win. One of the things mentioned was building a T-Shaped mind, meaning one should expose oneself to a variety of fields then use those skills to benefit your own discipline.

For example, a marathon runner can take up weight lifting; which is completely another skill set. But then, the marathon runner can build stronger muscles which in turn improves his performance in running! I think it applies even in our relationship with GOD. I suppose that there must be people in this world that take up medicine because they are so amazed at how God made the human system. These people study at how our body works and from there they know how intricate God’s designs are, and that He mean good for us.

We always hear from our Pastors that God can use every experience in our lives for His glory. I think it is actually literal haha! =) So I thought to myself:”Hey since I’ve been quite fat recently, why not try something different”. I took up Kettlebells and Filipino martial arts. Kettlebells is efficient as it trains the cardiovascular and muscle-skeletal systems simultaneously, and I’m a person that hates to waste time; or in a bad way you could say that I’m lazy. Kali was taken up because it has always been my childhood dream to do martial arts.

I was surprised to see that both  could actually complement each other. And both experiences made me know GOD from another perspective. But there were also times which I thought that I spent too much time on these interests. Everything will fade away but treasures which are stored shall always stay. Where ever your eyes are set upon is where ever your heart is. So I’ve repented and “toned-down” my time in Sports haha!

When I was reading Rob Yeung’s book, I was thinking of how I could use this principles to multiply the NS ministry. But the Spirit told me not to, because salvation comes not through my human efforts but by HIS grace! Hallelujah! I repented again! The Spirit encouraged me deeply by revealing this, I know that if God want to carry out His plans. Plans of Salvation, Blessing, Work…etc He SHALL carry it out no matter what.

I know that if God wants me to share His gospel to someone, even if that person runs away or avoids the topic. I know that I don’t have to chase after him or force it. If God wills, NOTHING can stop Him =) Sometimes I think we Christians are trying too Hard. No, I’m not saying that our passion in extending His kingdom should be dwindled. What I am implying is doing what He wants then back off.

God brought to my mind 1Samuel14-15, when Saul went against God’s instructions and took initiative for the wrong reasons. The Chinese have a saying for this, ” 自作主张“ or in Singlish:”Kay kiang”. We can have passion, we can have the desire to want to serve and do His will. But, we have to listen =) because God’s word is powerful, my shepherd was sharing this verse from Isaiah

God kinda use me to answer my own question….The following was what I shared…..

God’s will

Many Christians live their whole lives without ever knowing what God wants. And many will never reach their full potential in Christ. My goal today is to share about the Will of God so that we can a more effective life as a Christian by finding out what God wants for us and what to fulfill in this life.

Unfulfilled life

A life without God’s will is an unfulfilled life; a Christian who does not know God’s will often feel that he/she is in lack of something. And they may drift in and out of many interests (perhaps sports, games…) but they won’t feel fulfilled. And removing ourselves from the Will of God actually plunges us into darkness!

^{*Share about Goals…even the worldly people set goals, Boat without radar…etc}

God has 2 types of Will

1 Primary Will

2 Secondary Will

We can either choose to obey or reject God’s will, when it’s difficult we know that we can do it through God!

God’s Primary Will

God’s Primary Will is easy to understand but yet, may be difficult to apply.

A)    To Know Him

Romans 1 (New King James Version)

²⁰ For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,

God has laid many foot prints in our lives and He wants us to come to know Him. We cannot know

God by our own efforts; it is through His willingness to make Himself known that we are able to do so. God approached Adam it wasn’t the other way round.

It is indeed a blessing to come to know God! We must treasure every moment which we can still seek Him.

Isaiah 55:6

English Standard Version (ESV)

 ^6(A) “Seek the LORD while he may be found;
   call upon him while he is near;

B)    To Love Him

Mark 12:30

English Standard Version (ESV)

³⁰And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

*Share about knowing to love….girls?

C)    A Fellowship with Him

Genesis 2 (New King James Version)

¹⁸ And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

*God is a relational God, genesis. Let Us…

D)    To Live a righteous life

Leviticus 11:45

English Standard Version (ESV)

^45(A) For I am the LORD who brought you up out of the land of Egypt to be your God.^(B) You shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.”

E) To Love others

John 13:34

English Standard Version (ESV)

^34(A) A new commandment^(B) I give to you,^(C) that you love one another:^(D) just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

F) Bring others to know Him

Matthew 28 (New International Version)

¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

God’s Secondary Will

God’s Secondary Will is more personal. It can be subdivided to the Present and Future.

1)     Present: The things that you’re currently doing, perhaps NS, Studies…

2)     Future: Jeremiah 29:11 ^1A) For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare^[a] and not for evil,^(B) to give you a future and a hope.

God’s plans for our future can be the things that we are going to do…(Career, ministry…)

How to discern God’s will?

We can know if something is of God by confirming it through a litmus test. We can confirm things by

1 God’s Word (Bible)

2 His People

3 Events

4 God’s Voice

ADVICE,

1 Know your shape

2 Set Spiritual Goals

3 Get involved with the church

4 Have good company (Iron sharpens iron)

5 Trust God (proverbs:”Trust in God and do not lean on your own understanding….”)

SHAPE

We can also use our “Shape” to better discern Spiritual matters =)

Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, Experiences

“In brightest day, In blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight, Let those who worship evil’s might,
Beware my power Green Lantern’s light!”

I contemplated and thought that this oath actually fetch some similarities to us; Christians. I expounded upon it and changed the oath to a Christian context hahaha!

“In brightest day, In blackest night, No evil shall escape our sight, Let those who worship evil’s might, Beware our power Christian’s light!”

I think our lives as Christians resemble the Green Lanterns. Basically there’s a group of people being chosen and given a ring. They watch over the universe and battle evil. Every once in a while, they need to recharge their power ring through the lantern and swear the oath which I featured above.

Why do I say we are similar? Firstly, are we all not chosen by the Holy Spirit? The Ring symbolizes the Identity(Christians), the Lantern; the Word of God which  recharges us. The oath; Holy Communion, which a group of Lanterns are gathered together to remind themselves that they have a higher calling! To be the Salt and Light of the world, to uphold the Will of GOD.

I was doing my Facebook thing yesterday XD , a time where I just forget my surroundings and go into a trance of Face-booking. I was awakened by a brother’s status which kinda go like this… :” HS says I am light n I am good. I am love n there is no darkness in me. Light n Good actually exist. So removing yourself from me will plunge u into darkness.“.

Removing ourselves from the Will of GOD actually plunges us into darkness! Man! I could relate to that! There is so much wisdom in this sentence!  I believe every young believer should contemplate about this! Many times I failed and sinned against God because I was detached from Him and His Will!

John 15

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

⁵ I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he ^(E)bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

Detachment can be very subtle, so much so that you may not even know your slipping away and before you know it, you ask yourself  :” Hey why am I doing this, why am I sinning and why do I not feel peaceful about this, there seem to be  a void in me”.

The Will of GOD is pure and fulfilling. The Will is life, the Will is hope and the Will leads you to righteousness and salvation!

God seems to be speaking to me about the importance of Will recently. He also spoke to me about something which I thought was rather interesting, it was there all along but I did not notice it!

He told me the reason behind Sin, He told me that every sin is a reflection of one’s inner self/inner struggles and insecurities.

He told me the reasons behind the act of sin itself. Example; why do guys watch porn and engage in sexually immoral acts?

There are many reasons but some of them may include ; 1) A sense of inadequacy, they feel they are not man/attractive/big/powerful enough to attract women. That’s why they find fulfillment in porn. 2)  They were hurt before, that’s why they wanna hurt other people to attain what they feel is “justice”. 3) They never received any form of support of love from their fathers that’s why they go crazy and…. ….etc

Why do people steal? 1) They want a “kick” out of it, 2) they have an insatiable sense of greed and want to be known…. Why do people gossip? 1) Nobody notice them, so in order to feel important, they share secrets of other people and get the edification from it.

The reasons behind of all these sins are so complex yet simple. Inadequacies, psychological struggles and wanting to feel important. Without the Will we would be insatiable for the things of the world.

Many preachers and pastors talk about the aspect of  Spirit, Gifts and Word but I will really wanna hear more preachings about the Will of God =)

Cries of the heart…

I was just thinking about my 21 years of life and came to a conclusion that maybe my parent’s expectations and impartation about life is somewhat wrong and unrealistic.

Why do other parents view of me as a good son but my own never deem me good enough? Why do they teach me certain things but it’s impractical in the real world.

Why is it that whenever I talk about my goals and aspirations my mum look down on them but when she saw that I have a new OCBC bank account which last 4 numbers stroked the lottery, she said I didn’t tell her.

I told her about my plans of creating a new account to save up money but she dismissed it as a useless attempt. When I received the account, naturally I kept my mouth shut. Till she went through my stuff (as all mothers do) and saw the last 4 digits of my account. HAHA!

Then, that was where I knew…There are no perfect parents, though some are more willing to learn than others. I told myself, when I have children I want to humble myself, to not ASSUME! For when you assume you make an Ass out of u and me!

Yes, I believe I must have had many weaknesses that made my parents create certain beliefs about me. I am not perfect too! So….I shall look on to Him!

The only Perfect Parent is GOD!

So Sisters and Brothers don’t feel sad or irritated by your parents! God will not disappoint you!  He may hurt you to make you grow but He will never disappoint you! =)

Complains…..

Something interesting happened! I don’t complain as much as I used to! Reading from Ecclesiastes really made me think deep into things!

⁸ The end of a thing is better than its beginning;
      The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
       ⁹ Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry,
      For anger rests in the bosom of fools.
       ¹⁰ Do not say,

      “ Why were the former days better than these?”
      For you do not inquire wisely concerning this

I don’t know why but as the people around me complain about their work life/ NS life (or just about life itself) and how good it was in the past, I just have a different approach to that kind of comments now.

I know I am able to relate to them, but I just want to comfort and show them the positive side of this grueling journey.

As I just was just playing Basketball 2 hours ago,  I saw a lot of  Secondary Kids playing and talking the things of their time. I can’t escape the fact that I feel old! And I admit that it is indeed good to be young! BUT, I don’t seem to be jealous or desire to go back for I know it’s impossible.

Ecclesiastes 3 tells us about the seasons of life! Indeed, Let those young ones enjoy the joys of youth! And let an old man like me enjoy my coffee and game; basketball!

So let no man or woman complain about how they desire to be young or old again. Or about the good and bad times

For every season is given by God! A time to learn, enjoy and work! An opportunity!

I just pray that I can bite my teeth and grit through this tough season! 1 more Year to ORD! And I know that after I ORD, I will read this and smile at having conquered this grueling journey!

Thank You God =)

]]> http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/sunday/feed/ 0 elvelijahwan http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/05/28/a-new-beginning/ http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2011/05/28/a-new-beginning/#comments Sat, 28 May 2011 16:29:45 +0000 elvelijahwan http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/?p=547 ]]> Whoa! It’s been more than 2 months since I’ve updated this blog! I have so much to write, but yet I may have forgot many important details throughout the months.

God has lead me through many experiences in the following months. I went back to complete to the thing I dreaded the most in the past;BMT. I also went for a horrendous fork-lift course which really proved that I cannot work in the line of logistics. I was promoted and finally got posted out!

Chapter 1: BMT

Initially I was enlisted into a mono-intake, meaning that I would be permanently within a unit throughout my NS life. I wasn’t really used to the environment and culture there. I became quite “emo”. The people there were also quite un-forgiving, in the sense that; if you make a mistake or show yourself to be medically inadequate, you will get ostracized. Somehow, I was “condemned” when I got put on excuse as the doctor thought he needed to run more tests and observations on me.

Slowly, I felt as though my intelligence (or whatever sound mindedness I had) were drained away during my time in Armor! Did a lot of funny and stupid things, but it taught me a lot about sociology,the way people act the way they do and most importantly, myself. As time pass, I grew to be fearful of BMT as I lost confidence to finish it successfully.

I read somewhere that a flea has great jumping abilities but if you put it in a cup and leave it there for some time. Even after you remove the cup, it will not be able to retain it’s jumping capabilities prior to when the cup was placed.

After the barrier is placed on top of it, the flea will keep hitting the top of the lid and perhaps experience pain,disappointment…etc.

Putting  that into context; experiencing prolonged pain and disappointment can really dampen the motivation and abilities of a person. I created an invisible barrier and kept hitting “the wall”.  Every time I thought things will get better, it get’s worse! It was much like a “dessert” experience.

My officer in charge was actually from Hope =)! I thank him for encouraging me with bible verses and ensuring me that I was doing fine even though I thought I was way behind the other recruits.

After 7 weeks in armor I was posted to another unit, ironically the reason I was posted out was not my anemia but rather my weight =P HAHAHAHA! Apparently after I visited Susanna in Australia, I ballooned to 87 from 78! 7887!

They thought that the PES B bmt was deemed not safe enough for me.

Subsequently my Pes dropped because of High blood pressure, which kinda reigns in my family.

When I was in my new unit, I took time to evaluate myself and really reflect. “What is there to fear anymore? God, let’s conquer BMT again!” ,  I took steps to look for my camp’s Medical Officer and told him about my plans to do BMT again.

He was shocked, mouth wide open that a recruit will personally look for him to back to BMT. Most recruits try to avoid going back again, maybe out of fear? Maybe out of some identity crisis? Whatever the cause I wish that they can choose the best path.

I got my ticket back to BMT! I was really happy! Happy that God allowed me to do it again! To have a second chance to make it right!

Chapter two: BMT version 2.0 (recourse)

Company number 5,

Company number 5 was synonymous with pain and suffering! Heard from the NS brothers that this company was filled with high regimentation coupled with sadistic commanders. BUT! When I reached Tekong Island,  took the 5 tonner and unpacked my gigantic bags…..It turned out to be completely different!

First off, the commanders were quite “fun”. Not as sadistic as I anticipated, the bunk mates were quite different from my first BMT. A wide array of personalities, in which I learned many skills from.

I “stole” whatever skills I could, from speed reading to basketball and medicine. I was humbled to see and stay with so many talented people =) !

I also took some time to think, for I had some issues with tithing but it was resolved!

Through God, I was able to overcome all the high keys and endure through the different lessons.

I even managed to share and pray with a group of Christians.

The section next time mine also had someone from our church. An UL from Poly Dins, had a good time chatting and learning from him.

There were also bitter moments too, apparently due to a pack of noodles. I asked for a pack from my own section mate but the person was reluctant so I just thanked that person and went to ask from the WH(UL friend I mentioned). Ate the noodles and this section mate lost his own noodles (retribution? I don’t know). This section mate started to confront me asking for his noodles, I got WH to help clarify this situation but that section mate seemed very defensive.

Well, I was quite sad that relationships can just turn sour because of noodles! LOL! But as I was down and thinking if I did anything wrong, another group of section mates came to encourage me. One of them said that to him, I was one of the best as I helped and am always the first to be there.

I knew instantly that, what I was doing was not wrong. That if a person is innocent or doing something right, I.E Jesus, that person should continue doing what he/she was doing. I thank God for the verse

Proverbs 16:24 (New International Version)

²⁴ Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

it really was spoken at the right time and it was really sweet! Then I got chosen for Guard duty!

Through-out the night, I kept reflecting and making sense of the events that has happened in this many months of NS.

God spoke to me:” Elvis , no matter how tall,short,fat,thin,funny,cool,ugly,handsome….etc one is, there is always people that like you and a group that don’t. Therefore, don’t try to impress or depend on anyone. Just be yourself and depend on Me, just do it for Me!”

God really touched my heart during Guard duty! Being a melancholic/Sang I like to think a lot and the sang side of me always get distracted with the daily hustle and noise.

Only in the most quiet moment, the point where no one is looking and moving around, I can start to stop and think! Perhaps God planned for me to be in this guard duty?

Anyways…. I managed to Pass the BMT and became Private Elvis Wan!

Chapter 3: Fork lift in elm street….

I got posted back to my unit with barely enough time to rest. Went to do work but I was happy because I got to go home early on certain days after things were done and being accounted for. I found out in the last minute that in the following week I had to attend afork lift course.

Day 1 was alright, but I was quite “blur” and discovered that I lack perception! Day 2 was Vesak day!

Day 3 was Hell! Kept banging onto the giant barrels and crates! I was getting worried hahaha, could I pass?

Day 4 was the day I kept getting yelled at but surprisingly I could suddenly maneuver the fork lift adequately!

The word says that His strength is perfected in weakness. During that time, I was thinking to myself:”Why am I the only Christian not doing well, fork lift seem to be so easy to others, what’s wrong with me God?”

On the last day of the forklift course I was still banging onto the giant barrels. BUT, on the exam I didn’t! I had managed to do what I needed to!

I was constantly asking God for help,thinking that I would fail. God’s grace had always been sufficient for me!

I have had never fail a test or exam after dedicating myself to him! Even if I do badly I always seem to be able to pass!

I received news that I had passed,  even though I made many mistakes; I banged the forks on to the floor, I had forgotten to turn off the lights…etc!

I got my off pass and went the hell out of the camp.

The song: “Come Holy Spirit” by CHC kept resounding in my  head.

I praise and thank GOD for His faithfulness! Thank You Father, for it was none of me but ALL of You!

I could not have done it without You Dad! Got the forklift license and up till now I  can not believe it!

Last chapter: Post out….

After the forklift course I was posted back to my unit. I remembered months ago I had been praying for my unit to post me to a camp closer to my home as I had to wake up super early every day.

And it was really expensive to travel! Maybe I made a big “hoo-ha” out of it and some officers actually don’t like me. Well, I agree that maybe I didn’t handle it properly and I actually “grew-up. I know how to look at the bigger picture now.

God made me grow up as a person and Christian. I know more now! And how to make decisions politically and correctly. Officers, I apologize for my childishness and mess ups in the past. I KNOW that some of you are reading this, so let me take this opportunity to apologize where I did wrong. Let me make it right through GOD =)

On Wednesday, I came to know that I was posted to a camp that was just 50 min from my home! I was pleased but somehow it was not what I envisioned. I think now, I don’t care about the distance but more about where I can grow and find GOD =)

God has given me all that I need and grew me up MORE that I ever did in the past. Spiritually, He has challenged me, in HOPE church I managed to serve , learn and Love.

I love you guys and gals! I can truly experience what Jesus meant. A community which loves Him and each other. Though there are conflicts and misunderstanding but we always manage to learn, to forgive and move on together!

I was reminded of all the bitter and sweet moments! I was reminded of Huanyan, times where I was disciplined in love!

Times where I had late night chats with brother J and wonderful times with my LG and shepherd Chengwei.

Indeed, the power in the western world is Christianity!

God is a great GOD!

And Father, the purpose of this blog is to praise and lift Your name!

Father be glorified!

Also, I had the chance to know bros and sis from other groups and catch up with old ones…opps I meant from previous groups in the YG hehe! Sermons were interesting and engaging, I only don’t like the fact that there was no time to sleep. Only 4-6 hours per day, created a lot of “zombies” Hehehe , had to administer 500ml of caffeine in order to cure the ZZ virus! Though I understand that there was no choice as the committee had to cramp in all the teachings to better accommodate the people that had work/NS…etc.

The place was awesome! Girls brigade! The bunks had air conditioning installed in them! Maybe we could organize other camps at that place in the future! The only problem was that there were too little male toilets; not to forget the context of that place! Girls Brigade! Duh!

God spoke to me during worship, He showed me that I had to go through a lot of tough obstacles because of the following reasons.

• He loves me and wants me to work on certain areas
• I prayed for it

Some times we must be careful of what we pray for…jokes LOL! But if you really want change and improvement you need prayer and challenges. You won’t grow if your living in conditions that are too comfortable. When I prayed for patience, God place me with the worst dysfunctional people at the furthest place from my home! When I prayed to be healthy I was told that my unit has this health lifestyle reign where I had to run 3 days a week! God loves me, He places me in places to grow. And will deliver me when I finish those life lessons.

Friends, when you fail or try to escape a “life lesson”, it will always come back to haunt you! Example, you smoke and try to run away; not overcoming this bad habit. Some day you will find that your child may end up having cancer…etc. Just an example, it always comes back! I tried to escape certain situations but it still came back.

Oh, I went to watch a movie call Rango! It’s about a lizard/Chameleon on a journey to understand life and himself. It was rather hilarious and entertaining!  I managed to learn many things from the movie! Maybe you all should go and watch it!

I also spent my first anniversary with Susanna in Church camp. She attended Hill song woman’s conference and I was in Hope Shepherd’s camp. It was really interesting haha! One year had just flew by! I wish to spend more years with her! I know the end goal but now I want to pray for direction. To see what lessons and things God wants us to do and complete.

I haven’t been updating for long, the previous post was before Chinese New year haha! Hope that I can finish the lessons God want me to learn in this season and get posted after all of this. But I really wanna thank God for giving me the strength to go through the tough times!

I shall end this off with a prayer

Father, Thank You for being with me in this tough season and giving me strong support from my LG. Dad may we continue to be under Your covering as I don’t think we can do this without You God. I know tough times don’t last, besides I only have to suffer for 1 year 10 months. But I understand that more lessons will be coming in the future! I understand that I will have lesser time in society as I begin my adult life working. Father give me the wisdom and the prompting of the Spirit that I may know what and when to say things! May I do things at the right time  =)

In Jesus’ name Amen!

I want to write down all the blessings GOD has placed in my life =)

On Monday I had to stay back in camp to complete some assignments which my superior demanded. Everyone left camp early, so it did left some feelings of discontentment and sadness. “Why does everyone in camp have good superiors that allow them to go back on time or sometimes even go back early, why do they have vocations/jobs that are so less demanding but I have to suffer under a perfectionist who short change me all the time. Why do I have to do OT but I don’t get any incentives?”. Then again, I told myself:”I am a Christian, I am more than a conqueror! All these that happened or is happening to me, I know it will all fade away, God will never short-change me! I should view all these differently than the lay man! I MUST refrain myself from complaining! God is using all these to mold me!”

I must attempt to look at difficult situations as possibilities to grow up! I think reading about Theology and Philosophy did indeed help me to analyze situations better. Though reading about Philosophy did had some weird effects on me, because once you have learned to look at things philosophically, issues which previously seemed straightforward will be problematic. You will often be able to see more sides to every story, and sharp distinctions between good and evil may become much more blurred. Theology however, helps me to counter-act this blurred vision of things as the bible make the distinctions even sharper. So thank God for the best of both worlds.

Anyways Revelations really encouraged me, I recalled sermons from Pastor Jeff’s  2 weeks ago.

Revelation 7:17
17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’[a]
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’[b]”

Though I had to stay back for OT, even leaving the place at 6.50pm, I was able to focus less on getting home fast but rather on what did I learn? Am I doing my best? Are there any in-efficiencies? Am I blaming more than I am doing? Maybe GOD allowed me to be under such a demanding boss that once I get out of Army I will be able to face anything! (OT,EXTRA OT AND EXTRA EXTRA OT)?

Then as I was on the bus, I was thinking:”Hey why not try the famous Upper-Thompson road Roti Prata?”. Went to the famous eatery and ordered several varieties of Prata, it was really tasty! It indeed lived up to it’s reputation and my expectations!

I thought to myself that GOD is indeed good, I worked hard and He lead me to “green pastures” or at least a land flowing with bread and curry! =P Yum yum! And I wanted to go for this medical appointment which will last up to 24 hours, in fact I have 3 such appointments in February!

My superior allowed me to go! Thank God! I had initially thought that I couldn’t but God softened the heart of my superior. And again, I learned to fear God more than this superior! I don’t feel fear anymore(which meant I used to) but I do feel some resentment to his ideology but am fine with his soul/person.

So many things I’ve learnt through suffering! I wanna affirm the scriptures :“³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.“ ROMANS 5! I find that the times I grow the most is in pain and suffering.

I am NOT a sadist but I think yea, we may feel like shit when we go through shit. But out of shit grows beautiful flowers! =)

Oh back to the story, so I got to go for my medical appointment but on Wednesday I’ve received the news that I was to return on SAT as there was some sort of mix up in the camp. Apparently it was mix up between the superiors, but at the expense of us…sigh! Then on Thursday I came to learn that there was a seminar on Friday, and everyone was entitled to a  half day, meaning they can go back at 1plus but my group had to stay back on Friday, Saturday and maybe even Sunday to fix the mess.

On Friday itself I could see many smiles, many happy faces but it was so solemn in my group. We all know that we had to stay till 6! Then after the Seminar it rained super heavily! (I wonder if my CL Louis Chong was praying for rain hahaha!) Then the superior came and told us to come back on Monday instead!

Now, here is the cool part! On Sunday to Monday I have a 24 hr urine collection , then from Monday to Tuesday I have a 24 hr blood pressure test! The best thing is, my superior already knows about and it was authorized so I can’t be stopped! They have the man power anyways! WOAH GOD is really good!

God allowed me to have 4 extra days of off! Hallelujah! Indeed God will not short-change me!

Ironically in Saturday morning, usually before church I would do some weight lifting in the gym. Apparently I had over-estimated myself  by adding 10 kgs, I had “upped”  the initial 25kgs last week to 35kgs! And when I attempted to lift the weight up in the air, I slipped and sprained my back! The adrenaline rush made me “impregnable” to pain, but once I got back home, laid on the bed. I found that I could not move! Haha! Pain gushed in! I thought I slipped my discs haha! I stayed home on SAT, but I got to spend time with my dad! =)

It had been so long since I’ve spent time with my dad! We watched all the Nat Geo documentaries and had a good time. I also got to see my grandma! Seeing my grandma is like playing a DVD, everytime she will repeat the same thing =)! So I basically know what she will say and how to respond!

“Seeing my grandma every week is relative to playing a DVD. I already know how she would respond and what she will say. It’s like I gained the gift of foreseeing, I already know! =) It’s cool! I can ask her all sorts of questions and test different sorts of responses! It’s like Bill Murray’s Ground Hog day!”…but most of all I enjoy spending time with her =) Let the motivation be ♥

God is good! Even I was not able to attend service, He brought the service to me! He places me in situations that I have to learn and make the right choices! To love and spend time with my family which I neglected due to  traveling; as traveling from my home in Bedok to the camp in Yishun makes me ultra tired and I sleep every time I get back!

God is ultra-good! I wanna write more but well, I will go off now! To bath!

Lord You are good! You are Holy and You are wonderful to me! Thank You Dad and dad! =)

Recently I have read books on the concept of time. Certain circumstances or situations can make time fly or slow down. Did you know that temperature can affect one’s perception of time?   I want time to slow down when I am with my loved ones but I want time to fly when I am doing NS.

God really calmed me down from all the rush. He showed me this verse.

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God told me to treat everyday carefully, don’t let time just fly pass without your control. That He gave us each day so that we can make use of it to progress,grow,love and to know Him more =)

I woke up at 12 noon. It’s 3.30pm now, by now I would have eaten,read some materials and watched a movie! A pretty good accomplishment compared to the past haha! I remembered the months I had before I was enlisted. I practically wasted 4 months away just eating and sleeping. I spent almost 1 month in Australia, which were the best times of my life.

Did some math and calculated that 1 year 6 months may be long but it’s actually shorter than it seems. It’s around 360 working days left, if I add in 30 days of leaves and offs. It’s only 330 days of NS for me. Which tentatively means it’s less than a year.

It’s too early for me to calculate! I’m not even in the half way mark. I just pray that I can make use of this time and not waste it way.

I pray that I can bless and rest during this time haha =)

I have a couple of goals or things to do in this camp now but one thing’s for sure. In the army, things don’t happen accordingly. There’s bound to be stupid things happening.

1 Get to another camp

2 Recourse BMT

3 Re-vocative

My next BMT FFI is in April which means I will either drop or up grade depending of my medical problem.

The thing now is to get to a closer place which is a problem yet to be addressed by “them”.

Then, by next year I should finish BMT by June or July.

Susanna will visit in December 11!

I apply a week’s leave to go for a trip in Australia during late Jan 12

Susanna will come back to SG with me in Feb 12

She will fly back and I will serve the remaining 2-3 months.

I will fly to Australia in 1 June 12 again this time for a longer trip.

Come back to SG to work for 7 months before my EEE course in Singapore Polytechnic starts.

Start Polytechnic in APR 13

Will probably decide where to move on from here.

Psalm 127:1
A song of ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.