Elv_Elijah_Wan's Blog

 Dear Journal…….

 I’ve been reflecting about what I encountered throughout these few weeks. I always thought that experiences are just experiences unless you make sense of it. learning from past mistakes and lessons.

God seems to have shown me that I should take this time (before NS and during NS) to learn, hence preparing myself to serve Him. As I don’t have any shepherd, I REALLY thank God for all the elder bros whom have spent time with me. I’m pretty interested what God wants to tell me through them and other factors. 

These bros  really allowed me to see what I need to do or what hinders me from experiencing God more effectively :)

Thursday I met up with Yeuann for fellowship and I had a question to ask him regarding Pastor Joseph Prince’s book, throughout the time spent with Yeuann I have learned about my weaknesses and how to work on it

1) Too quick to speak

James 1:19 (New International Version)

 ¹⁹My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

I think I have always been a hyper-active person, very ”on the ball’ and sometimes very rashful. Well I think it’s time to work on this

I will train myself to listen more than I speak, the problem is that my mind is every active so I have lots of LOTS of things to share hahas but I just sense that God will continue to work on me

Philippians 1:6 (New International Version)

⁶being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

 Now I’m just meditating on this verse, it really drives me to really depend on Him to overcome these problems!

This week was really blessed, I’ve been able to learn more about myself and thank God that I was able to bless others in the process as well

Monday

Mon was okay for me as I was able to catch up with my class quickly. I missed last week’s lessons so had to really get in touch with what I missed

Though it seems I lost memory of this day hahas. Think I went to have lunch with my sis and watched a movie.

Tuesday

Arh Tues was movie day again, went to watch this movie “Dance of the sparrows” which really has content man! Most of the movies that I watch does not have any morale, with not many things to learn or it’s too shallow. So it’s really a nice change of genre

Wednesday

Wednesday was one of the miraculous days that reminds me of

Matthew 6 (New International Version)

1So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

I woke up very late and was going to miss my lessons so I took some time to pray. Went off on my journey, when I arrived was SURPRISED to see that I was in fact one of the earliest to arrive for there were only 5 people in the whole class of 15. After the class went for break then another class, approached a vending machine and found the vending machine uncle was kinda familiar so wen to chat with him and he offered me a drink FOC! LOLs! Then I remembered that I was meeting Huanyan later in the night. So was thinking if whether I should skip class or choose to reach a bit later for the dinner. The amazing thing was my teacher announced that there will be an early release today I was like WOW Thanks God!

Went to meet Huanyan for tea and I really enjoyed McDonald’s Himalayan Tea Latte Remembered Justin brought me to some food court but forgotten about the place so went “trekking” with Huanyan, walked from Doby Ghaught to Bugis to Tekka Food court! Thats like 3 km man!!! Nah haha maybe a bit shorter hahas I meant FEELS like 3 km!

Somehow even though we went the wrong way, God was able to make it right The food was awesome and cheap 4 bucks for a super big portion of Nasi Bryani! The Teh ice was kinda nice too I just get addicted to ice Teh nowadays man! Was joking with HY sometime back :’Hey bro do you know why you haven’t found a job yet, cuz God wants you to help me with my math exam then after it you will find your job ” The amazing thing was after my exam HY got the job the following week, then I was like WOW………! I meant it as a joke but it came to be true LOLS!

Thursday

Thursday was kinda sucky for me, remembered I shared that there was a stalker in my class. What happened was this stalker used the name of another student to criticize and insulted some people in my class. Then the student whose name was being used went to bash up the stalker but was stopped. So there was a commotion in my class, but somehow I felt relieved which I analyze and felt it’s not that right. I think my wrong is that I felt happy when the teachers came and investigated the situation and the stalker was kinda “exposed”, I disliked the guy cuz he went on to harass my family, friends and other classmate. There was so much dislike in me that I am kinda like a magnet, that is if the stalker is in “North” then I will be “South”.

Then I thought of this verse

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

²³“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents^[g] was brought to him. ²⁵Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

²⁶“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

²⁸“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.^[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

²⁹“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

³⁰“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

³²“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

³⁵“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

I really believe God wants me to know that He has forgive me so I should have compassion and mercy on others. Even through having mercy and compassion but I must also exercise wisdom too, I always like to draw from this verse, Matthew 10:16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”. That I should be “Nice but Wise” Cuz the guy is basically stalking most peps in the class, their girl friends and family! I thank God I know what to do now! To forgive and guard!

Then as I went home I kinda did stuff that was thinking, what was the reason that I sinned against the Lord at times ?  A picture flashed in my mind showing a child that does ridiculous things to get the attention of the parents

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF3grZ-t1i8

I somehow got a revelation that GOD wants me to trust in Him, to build a relationship and not always depend on the things you see.

2 Corinthians 5:7 (New International Version)

⁷We live by faith, not by sight.

So my problem is that I trust too much on “reality” on the things I can grasp on, and in so I know what to do again

I thank You Father for showing me on what to work on, and when I see the mirror through Your word I will be able to change into a more Christ like and effective Christian

Friday

I was feeling kinda disappointed and depressed as I had sinned against the Lord during Thursday with the decisions I made. Then as I prayed God placed some bible verses in my heart.

John 4 (New International Version)

²³Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.

Then went to school and suddenly felt like meeting Bro Weikai in NUS for lunch. So finished my tutorials, handed it up to teacher and went home. Bathed and chionged down to NUS, wow absence really makes the heart fonder! I DON’T mean it in a “Gayish” way hahas, I meant it as how Apostle Paul meant when he wrote letters and the Epistles to many churches that he went to minister in when he was younger. Had an awesome time and chat with Bro Weikai, one thing I’m impressed is that he is willing to lead in giving thanks (as we were having ginseng chicken and food stuff) and he thanked not only God but was willing to bless his parents! I am really awed by how God can mature a brother this quickly that not only he has hope now but also peace together with blessings.

NOW the amazing part comes, went down to HQ then Matthias together with bro Minghan was following up with Weikai and basically it’s teaching younger bro/sis more about God! So as they were sharing they said they wanna draw from John 4, I was like WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Isn’t that what God place in my heart in the morning? WOW!

I thank GOD that I was able to support the bros in this sharing The emphasis to me was in John 4:23-24 but for the other bros it was another which is kinda nice!

To analyze this verse we need to ask ourselves, True worshipers worship the Father in spirit and truth. So what’s spirit and truth?

I went do do some translating and found the word spirit in Hebrew is “Nepesh” which means life! To worship GOD with our lives! To use our lives as a canvas, God being the painter and to paint out His love and blessings to others through your own

Truth? Jesus said in John

John 14:6 (New International Version)

⁶Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Which means to worship God in Jesus!!! Let me use an analogy For example your heading to a mrt station, let’s say Orchard. So what you do is you take the train and being “inside” the train you head to that “direction” that it goes which is Orchard. So similarly to be “inside” Jesus, doing what He does, blessing people, healing and most importantly to bring salvation to the world! Being conformed to Jesus but not to the world but be transformed in Jesus Christ Hallelujah!

Romans 12:2 (New International Version)

²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Then went off for CG and I really thank God that I can just share my struggles and learn from all of these Sis and Bros. I really thank God for all the people He placed in my life, no matter good or bad, God seems to be able to refine and shape me through everyone I encounter!

Saturday

Saturday I know God has forgiven me, there was a verse being placed in me and I was reminded of.

1 John 1:9 (New International Version)

⁹If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Went to meet bro Weikai and Hy for lunch and headed off for service. As my CG was in charge of helping out in Holy Com, I really thank God that I was able to help in the packing and placement of cups hehes! The service started and Bro Timothy shared about 1John1:9, which kinda affirmed me that God has forgiven all unrighteousness from me.

I really enjoyed the service and went on to stay with the Sis and Bros till 3.3am WAHS!!! lols!

Sunday

Today I’m gonna meet some of my friends in Christ for dinner

God bless!

Wow I thank God that my exams are FINALLY over! Throughout these few weeks I’ve learned and experienced many interesting things in the Lord. One of them is that God likes to use certain objects (be it people, events, situations and things to do) that are “No-Link” when we first start to experience it. THEN as time passes you start to see the “linkage” between why those things had to happen and why you were in that certain situation, does it ring a bell? Have you also went through any particular “no-link” situations?

I’d like to give an example, hmmmz let’s say there is a Christian who has a bad habit of smoking. Then as he starts to pray and really desire for a change, God tells him to quit his job. With such a sudden answer the person will probably most of the time get shocked and think to himself :” Hey, is that really what God want me to do? What is the link in this???” Then as that person quits his job and just spends time with his family, relaxing in the Lord the habit suddenly DISAPPEARS!!! Why Why Why?? The person will suddenly realize this, it WAS his job that brought him stress, therefore in order to get his mind off the stress he starts to smoke and rely on the cigarettes. However when he quit the job the stress disappears hence the habit is GONE!

Hey one thing I really agree and know about about our Heavenly Father is this

Isaiah 55:9 (New International Version)

⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God’s way of solving a problem or doing things are unfathomable to man! The way of the Lord is higher and His thoughts are way above how we are able to comprehend.

SO how does this link to me? When I start to think back at the reasons on why I took the Math exam and how the pieces link to each other, I got a shock!

Many Sis,Bros and in fact even me thought that the reason is that I may do well and glorify Him through my results. BUT after I went to do some evaluation and reflections I find that the REAL reason is for me to learn how to TRUST, DEPEND and HUMBLE myself before Father God

So the overall objective was not just getting good grades, in fact it has nothing to do with the grades but to build a relationship, a time tested relationship with Him!

I went to do some prayer to ask what God wants be to do and what phase am I going through. He seem to have shown me that I should take this time that I have to build up in different areas, be it math, chemistry, bible…etc And also to bless the Sis and Bros. So I started to borrow books from the library and emailing all the Sis and Bros from various disciplines like Chemistry, Math, Sciences……You can probably see it on my Facebook hahas

Then during Sub D, God really affirmed me through the Joyce, Clairemae and Benaiah. I literally got awed to my very core at how God amazes me! Here are some of the sharing from them

Joyce- Joyce spoke about serving the Lord and knowing possible pitfalls. However the thing that really jumped out to me was when she said we are all Christian
“Under-Construction“, I remembered posting a blog post saying that I saw this commercial on the bus and it showed a potter forming a pot on a piece of unformed clay and I reflected and thought that we are all Christians “under-construction“!

Benaniah- Benaiah spoke about having a heart willing to learn, that people who have a learner’s heart are able to grow in the Lord faster. It suddenly stroke me when I remembered emailing people telling them to teach me stuff and the phase of life which I prayed for. Ben went on to talk about Moses spending the first 40 years thinking he was somebody, next 40 years knowing that he was nobody and the Final 40 years knowing that THROUGH God he CAN be somebody. I suddenly remembered that when I was young I thought I was somebody as I did pretty well in school, then when I went to UNI YA group I KNEW that I was NOBODY then these few weeks I understood that through God I CAN become somebody! Hallelujah! The climax came when Ben shared about being humble and ruling one’s emotion

Clairemae- She mentioned about God being the ultimate ruler and judge of us,I did  a post on my birthday saying that I felt very sad that I did not accomplish much for the Lord and I often put a lot of emphasis on how others grade or look at me. I really thank God that He comforted me and told me to be still and know that He is God! That at the end of the day God is the one who judges and grades us

As the SUB D ended hilariously hahas (I “sheek” the Lord with all my heart…..LHY)…… Yeah, we went for supper at this “zi char” store. I suddenly took a math book to do some work, I kinda think it’s an instinct now  that was cultivated during my exam days, that I will suddenly take out a book to read.

Xinying 姐 told me something which really encouraged and reminded me of a wisdom. She said :”The fellowship is more important now ” A verse went into my mind,

Mark 14:7 (New International Version)

⁷The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me.

THANKS Xinying 姐! The context of the verse is to NOTICE and do the important! When applied in my situation it’s like I can study ANYTIME but fellowship like this only happens once in a while.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt its that the accomplishments we make in this world, be it certifications, awards, trophies… IT WILL ALL WITHER away! BUT those things that will last on is, the RELATIONSHIPS we built, the people we have BLESSED, the work of the Lord we DID.. ALL THESE will be remembered forever! Hallelujah!

I have reached a new sense of intimacy with fellowship with the Sis and Bros That’s real quality time!

I end the post thanking You Father for blessing me with great fellowship and giving me a direction which I can work on to bless Your Name! Hallelujah! Lord I ask that You continue to speak and touch me through Your word so that I may be able to bless and encourage the other Sis and Bros

In Jesus name Amen

Today as I was on the bus reading my NASB bible which I’ve not read for some time, God really impressed upon my heart with this TV mobile advertisement.  I believe most of us who take the bus are familiar with this section of TV mobile, it’s a “Inspiration/motivation” ad that shows encouraging quotes or pictures. Today the advertisement showed a potter doing work on a piece of clay, as the wheel was turning, the clay starts to take shape and gets formed into a pot (Straight away 2 things came into my mind Hillsong’s Potter’s hand, and this scene from the movie “Ghost/Unchained melody hahahas”) Then it showed “Have you thought that, you are a piece of art that has yet to take shape…….“ I thought this ad was rather biblical hahas, God reminded me that I am a Christian in “Progress”.

I was thinking about a couple of things, one of them was that I feel really bad cuz I find that I treat and bond with my family and Christian Sis and Bros closer than my Non Christian friends. Remembered having coffee with Yeuann& Matthias, they mentioned that it’s easy to treat people you love well, however it’s even better to love your enemies and Non Christian friends! I really thank God that Bro Yeuann and Mattias really inspired me to carry on to do God’s work and preach the gospel

Then God really comforted me when He revealed that scene when the miry clay was transformed into an art piece!

These few days, God has been sending people to encourage and comfort me. I’ve been really blessed by all of you sisters and brothers for being there and praying for me when I really needed help. As I was in the arcade yesterday I really enjoyed the bonding time and being able to learn from one another in Him.We even met new peps!  One of them was Clairamae’s Korean friend

Yeuann suddenly thought of meeting us, which he did but with me! Hahas most of the brothers were going off to Zhenzhong’s house for fellowship. Which leaves me as the one not going hahas……We went to Starbucks and I really had a revelation! Talked about many interesting subjects one of them was….

How do one access his/her level of Spirituality ???

One thing we know is that as Christians it is not by our own efforts or works that gives us salvation or godliness. It’s through our Father God Now the question is then how do we know if our relationship is on good terms with Father God? I use the word Spirituality as I think it’s a term we all know about hahas. Think of it as “level” if you play computer games However we MUST know that it’s personal, NEVER compare with one another BUT LEARN from one another!

SO….what are the keys to access? Yeuann really made some good points but I wanna add to it To access one’s relationship with God we need to look at 2 things

1 Have you love the Lord with all your heart,soul,mind and strength?

http://elvelijah1.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/love-the-lord-sorry-my-text-size-got-problem-p/

2 Have you loved your neighbor?

To add on to what Yeuann said, I wanna bring us to the FRUITS of the Holy Spirit! Galatians 5:

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law

I will specially do a blog post to expand each one of these fruits Now we also have to manifest it(Fruits) through the GIFTS!!!

There is a distinction between gifts and fruits

I think all of these points really has given us a “mirror” to access our relationship with the Father I think it’s healthy Spiritually to reflect and know what points to pray and work on through God

Then as we finished our coffee we found that we missed the last train so went to meet the rest of the care-group for FELLOWSHIP. As they were playing pool me and Yeuann just took some time to settle down and read our bibles. Yeuann revealed something to me and this fact makes me believe that in some sense I’ve already “WON“! The interesting thing is I don’t have any more fear in the end results. Yeuann mentioned that :” Brother the important thing is not your results but this heart that wants to bless God!”

My whole being literally were refreshed when he reminded me of that fact!

Even if I fail the world’s exam I passed God’s test!

We went to have supper then I reached home around 2.30 am….Super tired!

I thank You God for all these Sisters,Brothers and Friends!

Today was an exciting day! After my school “chionged” down to meet Weiling姐 and Matthias哥 for maths session WOW really learned a lot of stuff today and the concepts seems to be clearer. I really sense that there are many Sis and Bros praying for me because there is a different spiritual atmosphere now, I sense a change and empowerment. And while I was having coffee and cake with Matthias today we had a chat and sharing. Somehow suddenly an idea and concept was revealed to me, I give credit and thanks to the Holy Spirit for all spiritual wisdom is given by Him.

God revealed something very interesting to me It’s still in the topic of faith but an expansion of it! I was sharing with Matthias this words:” Hey bro, I really DON’T have any more faith,confidence and hope in myself, I don’t think I can pass with flying colors but I should be able to get a “pass”.  STILL, I know this…that…EVERYTHING that is impossible with man is possible with God!”…Straight away the wisdom was revealed….There are 2 DIRECTIONS to place your faith in!

1) Faith in yourself

2) Faith in God!

It is ABSOLUTELY alright to say that you have no faith or hope in yourself! I will give the reason later, the thing is…When you have no faith and hope/confidence (whatever you wanna call it) in yourself, it’s actually a HUMBLING experience. When you lose confidence in yourself, THAT is when you start to trust in Jesus! HALLELUJAH! That leads to point 2 Faith in GOD… BUT PLEASE apply point 1 in CONTEXT, I am not implying that in EVERY situation you must feel defeated and demoralized but to KNOW when to surrender to Father God and when to take courage in Him! Amen?

Okay Point 2, It is ABSOLUTELY NOT alright to not have faith in God! If you read the OT, you probably find that God was very angry with some of the prophets and Israelite in many situations but prominently after crossing the red sea and in the wilderness! And EVEN with Moses(Exodus 3)! WHY?

Sisters and Brothers! God is NOT angry that they did not have confidence or faith in their abilities but BECAUSE THEY Did not have Faith in HIM!!!!!!!

LEARN this fact and keep it close to your heart! God does not blame or criticize because you can’t as He knows that we are merely humans but God hates it when you don’t put your trust in Him!

2 Timothy 2:13 (New International Version)

¹³if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

KNOW THIS, when you have no more strength and faith. God WILL, not may, not might but WILL BE your faith, God WILL be your strength, God WILL be your salvation HALLELUJAH!

Father, it is too late for me to study to pass with flying colors but I know this, Father You are my God, You are my King whom I worship and adore. My hope is in You, You ALONE is my refuge and shelter. I want and desire You to be glorified, I just ask that I may be able to do the best I can for You. I leave the rest on to You and Lord forgive my mismanagement of time but I thank You that I’ve been able to see the love that is in You and the love of the Sis and Bros when they really come and to pray, to comfort me in You, Lord bless them! Keep them in You that we may all grow,serve and love You together as a family!

In the name of our beloved Lord Jesus AMEN!

Sisters and Brothers I want to reveal something that I’ve learned from this book “Destined to reign”. I think many people from the conservative churches will “outlaw” the book saying that it’s all prosperity gospel and not able to bring out truths BUT surprisingly IT DOES! It’s not all prosperity gospel and “happily ever after” stories but there are truths and perspectives we should see regarding our identity and Pastor Joseph Prince has placed it well together.

Well here’s something I agree to….

Whenever a breakthrough is about to happen, something really bad usually happens

Back during my Project days, I was really depressed from so many rejected ideas that whatever idea I throw to the lecturer he would toss it away. When everything was confirmed THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS arising again….During those days I would pray pray and pray but nothing happened, everything seemed to be going down down down and I was somehow defeated. THAT was when God started to push things up, when the project arrived everything was messed up but God placed things together and Hallelujah He is faithful and loving to me! Whatever turned out wrong, God made it right and I got an A for the project knowing that it’s not my ability but God’s strength and power! Hallelujah!

One thing I learned from lifting weights in the gym is that, when you break down muscle tissues the next day you will feel sore and as the muscle tissues start to grow back, it becomes bigger and stronger BUT there will be an INTENSE period of PAIN 15-20 hours after the initial training! The pain can either make you or break you, in the sense that it will motivate you to train better or stop you from training ever again.

The same principal applies, when the devil attacks you, he will use many many tactics to bring you down, intimidate you or mess up everything you do. When you start to pray and seek God, God being a loving Father and a righteous God will INTERVENE. During that time it’s the most CRUCIAL period, the devil will THROW EVERYTHING he have to make you stop praying, to make you stop hoping and having faith in God. To STOP your momentum because the devil is afraid, the devil is afraid of Christians who have breakthroughs, Christians who are able to influence the world, Christians who are able to change and bring the gospel into the world so people are saved. If you stop praying and trusting in the Lord then…. you are ALREADY defeated…BUT KNOW ONE THING! We are the children of Yahweh! The MOST High! He will deliver you and save you! He will be your faith when you have none! He will be like a Father to you!

Hallelujah! Don’t stop, DON’T be defeated by those demonic attacks, KNOW this…NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS GOD LOVES you!!!

Grace does not mean lawlessness in fact Grace stimulates one to seek God and do Righteousness….Go ponder about God and be blessed Sisters and Brothers

AND PRAY FOR MY MATH EXAMS!

Take 1 min to pray for me, I’ve ask the Father to bless the person who does so twice on the level of how he/she prays for me HAHAHAHA! Be blessed! :p

These few weeks were madness to me! I was so over stressed because of one exam that does not even affect my future in any sense so why am I nervous about? hahas! Still I’ve learned a couple things about myself and how things work. I went out with Huanyan today and I remembered telling him a joke implying that I feel like a Jew! I feel like a Jew who was delivered out of Egypt but still complained and complained. I was complaining to God why He brought me out to fail, why He didn’t stop me from taking the exam if He knew it will clash with my projects and cause me little time left to study…..complains…complains….complains

When I really look back at the miracles and wonders God did, I am really amazed about His grace and mercy upon me through Jesus Christ! He did not struck me down nor did He burned me in His anger BUT comforted me with many encouragement listed below.

19/10/09…I was reading Yeuann’s blog where he was posting about his encounter with God  through Psalms 103 and a affirmation by a stranger in the church near city hall. I was complaining in my heart about why I don’t get to see any more affirmations nowadays, I told God :” Lord, I wish that I can encounter and see You  like how brother yeuann did”. The next day I was reading a book that was passed to me by Bro Darren Solomon, and my heart was still in fear of that exam, printed in bold letters were these words…. PSALMS 103

Psalm 103

Of David.

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,….

I was immediately reminded of bro Yeuann, of how I was saying ” Lord, I wish that I can encounter and see You  like how brother yeuann did” Amen! Hallelujah, our God is a God of encouragement and wonders!

20/10/09(Tuesday)… Today I was going to meet bro Huanyan to study maths. I looked at my timetable, the lesson was at 10 am which meant I could not study with bro Huanyan too late into the night as I had lesson next day(Wednesday). Then I started to complain to the Lord :”Lord why did you bring me out to fail? Why have you given me help but not time to seek help, if only I could study without being fearful of oversleeping the next day haizzzz….” Guess what happened next? My classmates started to sms me saying the morning lessons were canceled, subsequently my teacher also confirmed me that the morning lessons were canceled….I was so shocked!

Then went to meet up with bro Huanyan for dinner, and he told me something which was wisdom to me…Words of Huanyan:” I have always told people, the important thing is not getting an A,B or C but putting in the best. If God made you as a pot that can hold 1 liter, you jolly well hold 1 liter, if God made you a pot which can hold 5 liters you best hold 5 liters…(Parable of talents)……after the dinner had ice cream and joined Penguin jie and Weiling jie at SMU. Was categorizing things to study while they practice worship for CG this Friday. Then I found out an amazing fact bout myself, what bro huanyan took (In Hours) to teach me, weiling jie took 5 mins! It suddenly dawned on me! I work better with WOMEN!!!! All the subjects that I got A had lecturers who are WOMEN! WOOHOO I found a fresh revelation bout myself!

Went to play guitar and chill out with huanyan after math, was thinking in my mind again:”If only my lesson can start later so I can rest”. My teacher who was teaching in afternoon lesson smsed me saying that tomorrow’s afternoon lessons are pushed back to a later timing! I AM SO OVERWHELMED!!!!

Was doing my quiet time and read this meaningful Psalms 139

Psalm 139 (New International Version)

¹ O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to ^[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

FATHER God, forgive me during the times of my unbelief and faithlessness. You have shown me that I can do nothing without You and all things can be done through You. If I pass Lord be glorified,If I fail, Lord be glorified!

WOW! I can’t believe it! The thought of me studying 4-6 hours were highly improbable few months ago, but I’ve been doing it for 5 straight days. Never have I been so hardworking in all the days of my life except for my PSLE hahas. The things that I accomplished within these 2 weeks were more than all the 12 weeks combined. I had a lot of stress recently as it occurred to me that I might not be able to do well for my O levels. The failure does not affect me however the stress is actually caused by these 3 factors

1) I don’t want to shame the name of God with my bad results

2) I don’t want to waste my parent’s money

3) I don’t want to let my Sisters and Brothers down

The time I have is only 10 days man! I have only 10 days to accomplish what other people take 2 years! Even putting yourself it my shoes you will probably feel a heavy weight crushing on your shoulders haha! STILL I am CURIOUS! I really want to see God’s supernatural intervention There is always 2 factors in determining whether a miracle is going to happen

Read from Mark Chapter 6 we see Jesus not able to do miracles!!! WAH… How? Kays let’s first take a lookie at the scriptures :p

Mark 6 (New International Version)

⁴Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” ⁵He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. ⁶And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

In this instance, we see that the people His hometown was FAITHLESS! They did not have the faith to let Jesus manifest His power through healing,casting out of demons…etc Even Jesus was AMAZED by their unbelief!

NOW let’s look at another similar scenario but with a different outcome

Luke 6 (New International Version)

¹⁷He went down with them and stood on a level place. A large crowd of his disciples was there and a great number of people from all over Judea, from Jerusalem, and from the coast of Tyre and Sidon, ¹⁸who had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those troubled by evil^[a] spirits were cured, ¹⁹and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all.

Multitudes were healed! What was the difference? What was the key factor that allowed Lord Jesus to wonderfully bless them? Faith! Faith that could move mountains!!! Their faith were so strong that even one touch was able to fully make them whole! That’s just awesome! Power was coming out from Jesus HEALING them ALL!

In recent months I have learn 2 important factors that can fully allow God to bless and manifest His glory fully through our lives. No matter what form of trouble or challenge these 2 factors determines it all!

1) God factor: God’s will

2) Human Factor: Human Faith

Matthew 8 (New International Version)

²A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. ⁴Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”

The first factor involves God’s supreme will. Notice, in the perspective of the leaper, his challenge/problem/tribulation was his illness. The leaper went to Jesus and I believe he had the faith to be healed (FACTOR 2, ref to mark/luke 6) but he actually shows respect to Jesus asking for His “permission”(FACTOR 1). Indeed our God is merciful and awesome Jesus healed him. NOW the important thing comes, why did Jesus healed him? Love and Glory!!!

Jesus is God, and God loves all man. Furthermore Jesus told the man to show himself to the priest, plainly it is to show himself as a TESTIMONY!

God uses miracles and supernatural deeds to show His love and to awe the crowds. To show people that this God is of power and sovereignty so that people may put their trust in Him.

So how do I relate it back to me? Well I know the 2 factors are in place

1) I actually prayed if God wants me to take O levels, He did not seem to object it and I didn’t receive any form of “obstruction” when I made that decision.

2) I have the faith to trust in Him.

So now! The time has come, either I will be able to do this impossible deed and show a testimony or fail and learn how to deal my disappointment

No matter what happens Abba God, You alone are my God, You are Yahweh! The impossible becomes possible in You, the weak becomes strong in You. Your my refuge, You alone are my strength! If I do well, Lord Hallelujah, if I don’t do well, Lord Hallelujah! The Lord gives and the Lord takes away blessed be the name of the Lord!

From the inside out of my soul cries out to You

Father God, I want to dedicate this post to You. Previously I did many dedications to many Sis and Bros but Lord I wanna do one for You, only You This post is my cry before You. The things I mentioned is all directed before You Father, not for any man but for God!

Father, Your the God that has absolute control not only in the major parts of my life BUT also the minor details. And I’ve really been blessed Father by these details that You have placed in my life to strengthen and encourage me! I have noticed these 3 things Father.

1) Placing people (Sisters,Brothers and non Christian friends) at appropriate times to teach,encourage,rebuke,reproof,correct and give me patience

I noticed that Father at different times or parts of the day as I am reading a certain material, either the bible or Christian books. You would let me have something to ponder about then after some time that particular material I read RELATES to what I experience later in the day. For example I remember reading 1st Timothy and 2nd Timothy a couple of times these two days. Then today I met up with this youth leader who is a very dear brother of mine, and I sense a “low” in his spirit, I was surprised that the verses that I read earlier could relate to him in a more intimate basis, I will pray for you bro . Or the other incident where I was sharing about the importance of faith in Hebrews 11 to this brother then the sermon that day was about Hebrews 11 and Faith!!! Hallelujah Father, Thanks for Your personal affirmation!

There was a time where I was really “puffed up” in knowledge, the focus of my life was in how much I know and what people think about me instead of  You Father. And I thank You for directing me back to the right direction through this sister She really took the time and prayers to bring me to a conclusion that I should look upon You Father and I can see her love in You being displayed through the many encouragements and prayers for me

I was also very touched when many Sisters and Brothers offered to tutor me in many different subjects such as math, theology, psychology…etc

I’ve already learn so much from all of you, I can’t imagine how much more I can be in God when I fully learn all that I can

2) Thanks for “upping” my knowledge and wisdom in interpreting scriptures,books and even math!

I was actually very bad at reading when I was younger. I could not read for more than 10 minutes as I was not very fluent in English and I  often feel afraid to communicate with people in that language. I think even as now I’m not that able with that language but Father You have narrowed up the “gap”, You gave me ability to analyze from many different perspective to find the best explanation logically. Now when I read the news or books I am able to conceptualize it at a level that I didn’t have before

3) Knowing how You feel at a closer rationale!

I think Father You placed the stalker in my life to  teach me patience and give me  a “preview” of  how You feel! The problem with that stalker was that whenever I give advice or a list of things he should do to change, the stalker will rationalize it to his own preconceptions and refute the sound advice which me together with the teachers gave. And even feeling more superior to me and the teachers doing what he will.

How do I link this? Father I read and understand that through out history, through out the creation of humanity You have been trying to bring the lost and stubborn back into Your kingdom and save them with Your grace. However these people are stubborn, they rationalize to their own advantage with foolish preconceptions. They think they know what to do or they are the lords of their lives. Giving excuses and claiming that there’s no objective moral truth, I UNDERSTAND Father, I finally UNDERSTAND how You feel. BUT what I feel is only contemptibly small when compared to You, the whole WORLD is causing You so much pain and anger whilst only one man go against me.

Through the book of Hosea I was so touched, You got Prophet Hosea to marry a woman that would play harlot. And even when that woman sinned and deeply grieved Hosea, he went back for her, he ransomed her back! It’s a symbolic representation of Jesus ransoming us back, even though there were times we broke Your heart and played “harlot”, You were willing to bring us back into Your bosom to embrace us.

I understand now Father, I understand

Father my O levels are coming soon, forgive me if I am not able to do well but Father I will give my best. I will give You my best, I will do my best for You, my parents and the Sisters and Brothers whom really took time to pray and assist me.

Father You are awesome! I am just grateful from the inside out!

Woah I think some of the Brothers know that I got stalked by this classmate in  class….and the thing is….ITS A GUY!!!! ARHHH I was complaining it to Darren the other day as he shared that he also got stalked by someone only that it’s a girl!!! Hahas I was thinking about a couple of things which I have done wrong to experience this and attracted the “stalker”…….The thing that amazes me the most is that this stalker actually likes to debate with me

I notice a lot of traits in this stalker, firstly I believe something bad happened during his younger days that caused him to be so repulsive and cold to other people. And his EQ is so low that the guy offended the whole class. At the beginning of the year I tried to make friends and talk about God, but this guy just keeps sending weird messages to me either claiming that his family are rich people or he is going to be a millionaire. I was thinking there are probably 2 possibilities, either he is a very motivated and inspirational person or he is “living in another world”.

Slowly one by one, he send all those weird messages to me and all my friends, even adding some of my friends in facebook. I tried to bare with it in the beginning and even got taken advantage of but I did not mind. The guy will save every email or sms that I send to him, and if I mess up  in something he will show the teacher the messages that are against me.

Then the guy kept sending me messages saying that the whole class is back stabbing him….WOW!!!! Incredible it’s so utterly ironic hahahas!

I am trying to make sense of it, my teachers and classmates wanted me to send the stalker a email with a list of problems that we think he should work on. The guy went on to send me weird messages of no linkage, and claim to have “won” and “dumb folded” me in the debate. I was thinking :”hmmmz wow!”

The guy then went forward to msn me in Facebook, keep shooting me….I then went on to think about some bible verses….

Matthew 10:¹⁶I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Father I tried, I tried my best to really bear and turn the other cheek, but it seems it’s so difficult when you know that the person is literally taking advantage of you in the face man! I finally know what Jesus had to gone through debating with those senseless people….ARHHHH God you are awesome!

I was SUPER angry, not with the person’s soul but the EQ and character, the most angry and UN NICE thing I did was …………”Hey I have had enough, your the most egotistical and selfish person I’ve ever met in my life, If you need help academically or in school go ahead and ask me, but I wanna draw a line in the “personal” relationship” and deleted the guy from my account as I KNEW what ever I say to the guy, he will turn it to his own advantage.

Then I pondered have I shamed or acted “un-Christianly”? I went to think and think, I believe I did not acted unrationally and I gave my best. HAHAHA now I know what God has to go through man!!!!!

Brothers and Sisters pray for me that I will be protected from the stalker but yet is able to show the love of Christ in my life that one day the guy may rationalize it and see the love and peace in Jesus

THE HAPPY thing about today is , my basketball friend whom I sowed on and lead to Christ came up to me and ask for a bible!!! Hallelujah!!! I am so surprised cuz I was just listening to some songs on the internet then my friend came up to me for a chat and wanted to accept Christianity! I will pass him a bible hehehes YEAH!!! HALLELUJAH!!!

I pray that this brother will grow in Jesus and do help me pray for that this brother will be able to learn and develop his faith in Jesus…oh ya btw he is in Cornerstone church!!!